While cricket is under fire for Virat Kohli’s gentle shoulder lunge at his young fan Sam Konstas, for which he was penalized and fined handsomely, I asked the following question, sparking a respectful debate on social media. Would each of the top eight Test teams steal from the others if they could?”
There appears to be something to the thought experiment when Rugby Chatter gets around 8000 views and substantial posts on the second day of the year.
Perhaps using this indirect question can more clearly reveal the real needs of a team, even a team we love or want to follow and defend against criticism.
It’s not as simple as suggesting ‘back twins’ (Pieter-Steph du Toit and Antoine Dupont) because the gap is significant. Even though du Toit and Dupont certainly start in every mythical team, there is a difference in quality with Tadgh Beirne. The tall blonde World Player of the Year is lighter than the one between Ireland lock and Eben Etzebeth and the flashy Toulousain may be less needed due to the way Ireland want to play. I’m more interested in scrumhalf and finishers like Louis Bielle-Biarrey.
My proposed steal, improved upon with educated responses (some direct messages), looks like this:
Australia (Malcolm Marx and Richie Mo’unga)
As much as the Wallabies have grown since Joe Schmidt took the reins, their spines still wobble a lot, especially in the second and tenth vertebrae.
A stronger, more skilled hooker, carrying the Jackals like an extra loose forward without sacrificing scrummaging and lineout precision, would have provided lift and breaks for the hard-working Wallabies loose trio and protected the tight five from turnovers.
The presence of Dan Sheehan, Marx, Peato Mauvaka, Julian Marchand, Codie Taylor, Bongi Mbonambi and Asafo Aumua in the top four teams of outstanding hookers cannot be explained as a coincidence. All of these look to be a step above the 2024 Aussie Test windowers.
Popular opposing assumptions posted have been RG Snyman or Eben Etzebeth, but for me the Wallaby No.2 slot is the most disappointing at the moment.
Once the pack is sorted, it will be tempting to steal a true field general from flyhalf who can force play at the pace and place of the Wallaby’s choosing.
Noah Lolesio may have reached his optimal level so far in 2024, but Mo’unga’s floor appears to be higher than the Brumbies 10’s ceiling. It’s not that Lolesio is too far off the tee, which is very good, but he sculpts the look of the game as a whole and puts his backline in space.
Noah Rolesio. (Photo by Jason McCawley/Getty Images)
England (Dan Sheehan, Handre Pollard)
Jamie George may be the most likeable carriage driver at the moment, but he’s creaky and barely lasts 50 minutes. His backups now take turns. Not enough speed. So Sheehan, the flamboyant Irish rake, appeals as a spark in attack. He finishes as a back but is also active in the ruck. England seem to be fine in close exchanges. They lack sharp catch and carry.
England seemed unable to win a close game. Who better than two-time World Cup sharpshooter Handre Pollard? Pollard fits well into Leicester Tigers’ plans, a pattern that still bears the imprint of former manager Steve Borthwick and his assistant Richard Wigglesworth. South Africa’s chronically underrated vice-captain can bring calm execution to late-game chaos. As lovely as Marcus Smith is to look at, much of his brilliance is personal, while Pollard lets those around him shine and is best suited to the old English style of a 10-year-old. Ugly wins, close wins, but just win, baby.
Argentina (Frans Malherbe, Finn Russell)
The Pumas have had their best non-World Cup season in their history, and if they find themselves in 15th place or lower, the hole appears late: 3 and 1 (prop). A shaky scrum has cost Argentina at least three Test wins.
Frans Malherbe set the foundation for 24 Springbok scrums. He has never been pinged.
The tighthead is the focal point for the opposition scrum to attack and harvest penalties (or, more accurately, his link with the hooker), and is the easiest way to get into the deep red zone and play the lineout starter. Malherbe will not easily give his enemies that choice. If he had been tied to captain Julian Montoya in the front row, Argentina would have gone a long way towards finding a solution.
Online, I described Mo’unga as a steal, but on reflection, I think Finn Russell is a better fit for Argentina’s fire-and-fury defense. Imagine how he can fire a skip pass to the 13 or find a flyer at the speed of a cross kick.
Scotland (RG Snyman and Antoine Dupont)
The British and Irish Lions have a Scottish backline with Huw Jones combining well with Melbourne’s Sione Tuipulotu, the attacking prowess of Darcy Graham and Duhan van der Merwe, the silky skills and kicking range of Blair Kinghorn and the clear superiority of Russell’s 10 points. There may be. This is where Dupont can most certainly take the team from fifth to fourth or better. Finally, a Six Nations crown was born.
On the front line in Scotland are some discreet, solid honest workers with Scott Cummings and Grant Gilchrist. Attach the big Viking off-roader RG Snyman to your pack and watch him instantly become more dangerous at lineouts, stronger at scrums and harder to isolate.
France (Eben Echebes, Santiago Chocovares)
French players, coaches, pundits, media and fans have been sulking for a year about losing to the eventual champions, fixating on the two or three plays that didn’t go their way (and not caring about the results that did) and feeling downright embarrassed. He’s a worse loser than Jonathan Danty, who recently claimed he won’t accept Pieter-Steph du Toit’s apology for the smash hit and won’t even drink a beer with him. Therefore, I would replace him with the delightful Santiago Chocovares, who has played brilliantly in the center for Toulouse and has been one of the best midfielders in the world over the past two seasons. He also seems to be able to handle loss with grace.
Etzebeth probably finished second to du Toit in this year’s World Player of the Year category and has typically ranked in the top five over the past decade. He is easier to lift on the lineout than the French Rock, can lift long luges, chases kicks better, is faster and more skillful. upgrade.
Eben Etzebeth. (Photo by Mike Hewitt/Getty Images)
New Zealand (Eben Etzebeth and Damian de Allende)
There was the All Blacks’ ‘steal’ Mo’unga (the man who would change their fortunes) who was purely tongue-in-cheek, but my real solutions were in the middle and inside, both coming from a team currently on a four-game winning streak against New Zealand. This year’s race at Eden Park is shaping up to be massive. Sam Darry, backed by Dutch giants Fabian Holland (a French side named Provence next?) and Patrick Tuipulotu, is a handy engine room, but still has the front and back rows more organized. It feels like it is. It features Eben, who battled Brodie Retallick from 2015 to 2023 and eventually won.
Razor Robertson has maintained continuity in midfield (Jordie Barrett and Rieko Ioane) but both players, no matter how good they are, are makeshift experts. Damian de Allende is a classic 12, setting up the first ruck ahead of his forwards, rarely losing possession, able to break, passing but not too much, and appearing to find holes at the right time in tests.
A unique role reversal persists in this competition. The more they change, the more the conflicts seem the same, but now it is South Africa that is innovating. That is, the New Zealander’s counter.
Ireland (Ox Nche and Will Jordan)
The leaky nature of Andrew Porter’s scrum operation, with its almost perfectly balanced loose trios, handy locks and classy whores, feels important to address. Hence Ox Nche, who roasted so many opponents in 2024 without incurring the wrath of the referees like Potter.
Will Jordan celebrates scoring for the All Blacks. (Photo credit: Paul Harding/Getty Images)
In the backline, the Irish seem to lack raw pace and killer instinct. Jordan has the ability to take the try, his approach on the break is clear and he will win the aerial ball. I think he will be in the Irish back three, even if Mack Hansen, Hugo Keenan or James Lowe struggle.
South Africa (Fraser McLight, Antoine Dupont)
The Springboks rely on 12 fetchers to slow, hammer or muzzle the ball, but one real Jackal is worth more than six pretenders. Fraser McReight looks like Saffa after a Saturday night out at Sea Point. Without cutting too much, he probably likes his meat to be slow-cooked and incredibly nasty and cunningly fast-cooked. Siya Kolisi is now spending more time on the tram and fighting Father Time. The young red is never far from the tackle and ready to cause havoc.
Dupont’s credentials as being better than everyone he has ever played are not as clear cut as many people think, but he would fit very well into a Bok team with his incredible clearance kicks, defensive ability and aggression.
What do you think?
