There are no ducks in my swimming pool.
There have never been ducks in my swimming pool. To be honest, I don’t even know if the ducks in The Sims 4 will hit the same as the ducks I used to feed. But I still miss them.
why? Will you stop asking me questions like that? It always comes back to being with you for a reason. Yes, I know you are my psychiatrist. So you’re living on my balcony, taking my money and sleeping in this coffin I bought you because you thought it would be fun. No need to rub. No, I haven’t collapsed recently.
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Okay, you may yell at a bunny doll that looks like a skull and continue to cause a scene in a ghost version of Alcoholics Anonymous, but you can control it. Things are going well at work. I can’t tell you exactly what I do, but I told you I’m in the waste management business. Yes, I’m not a criminal. Because we are better than petty criminals. But because you’re part of an organization… that gets things done.
It’s a family business, the owner is an old man, and he has a very firm way of doing things. Like me, I believe very strongly in tradition. The idea is that people do what they need to do. That person seems to like me. I think it’s because I’m good at being secretive when someone does something big. what? I can’t prove I’ve ever touched a scythe. Ask the witness. I promise the witnesses will only say good things about me.
It seems very Catholic. Even if you don’t remember where in the Bible the whole story of souls being taken and taken through the great gates to hell was there. I’ll have to ask Carmella. She’s more interested in that than I am. Of course, I still believe it and I’m sure Meadow and Anthony Jr. do too.
You see, it is important to note that at this point it is becoming increasingly difficult to keep the harsher realities of working in the Netherworld Death Department from them. They are growing as they begin to develop their own increasingly complex moodlets. Having Paulie and Chris living with us – with you and, uh, my mother – probably doesn’t help. But what will a man do? We had to move here to fuck Ravenwood in New Jersey. I wanted to go out to Las Vegas or Arizona or somewhere sunny, but the feds were calling the heat, so we were stuck in a city I’d never heard of. It’s home to ghosts, crypts, and a family of terrible trees that whisper to you.
I had to bring you too, Dr. Melfi. Oh, shut up. You know you don’t want to go back to that motel where you hid last time. Plus there are a lot of strange people you can talk to here. Layne Coffin, don’t get me started. Don’t make that face. He’s just one of those happy go lucky guys we were talking about back then.
Anyway, he’s the least of my problems. Yes, it’s my mom. You know I had to relent and let her come live with us, even though she was dead to me when we moved here. Well, we didn’t get along and now she is literally dead to me. What are you seeing? No, oh my god, of course I didn’t do that. I loved that woman. You were there when it happened. For some reason she wanted to improve her athletic skills, so she went out to the pool for a swim around 10pm.
Next thing we know, boom, a wall appears around the edge of the pool, trapping her underwater. She howls as we try to reach her, all of her need meters plummeting except for her bladder. After about 40 minutes, the Reaper appears. Anyway, he steals her soul through the wall and she turns into a ghost.
Then the person disappeared and the wall also disappeared. Here is my mother, wandering from foundation to foundation, returning home as if nothing had happened. Since then, she’s basically been her usual self, but continues to possess furniture, levitate objects, and jump out at all of us. It really freaks Paulie out, it drives me up a wall, and the worst part is that Paulie has a really weird will so she knows I’ll be fighting on my hands when it comes to her affairs. That’s not what I want. Especially the random lamps she made as heirlooms since she was still getting the hang of the mechanics. But you can bet that Janice will show up at some point and try to find the deed to her old house.
Speaking of Janice, she won’t be coming to the funeral. I offered to pay for her ticket from Seattle, but she kept saying she’d never heard of Ravenwood and couldn’t find it on a map. I told her that all she had to do was open the menu and select World. It was obviously too hard for her. Can you believe it?
Anyway, we all felt sad. There are four types, and I always seem to get the angriest one because I have a very angry personality. It’s not my fault, my father passed it down to me. So I continue to get angry. Especially when you’re around her ghost. The rest are coping in different ways. Some of them continue to cry, give pep talks in front of the mirror, and even take sad swims. The damn house doesn’t help. Because the house has an On Hallowed Grounds quality to it that, in and of itself, continues to make us uncomfortable.
The funeral seemed to help a little, so we followed her wishes and proceeded quietly. You see, we need a moment of silence so that people don’t have to try to find something nice to say. Music doesn’t play. Food is plentiful. I tried to convince the kids not to fire the commemorative cannon I didn’t remember buying. After taking a great photo of her near the coffin, I took the urn and made it into a tombstone in the yard. See, if you buy a home with a built-in graveyard, you reap the benefits.
But since then, the person I’m most worried about is Christopher. As you know, Paulie is just an undertaker, but he made Moltisanti follow in my footsteps a bit and become a ruthless man. Anyway, he looks at the lithograph of the painting and says that he is about to die and will go to hell. This Chased By Death trait is everything. Paulie really thought he might go to hell for that, too. I even went to see a psychic who did strange things with tarot cards. Now he’s reading to people while eating Gaba Oysters. He drives me crazy even while he’s humming the TV commercial theme. If he is not a good source of income for the family, I may have to let him go.
It’s okay though. I’m just trying to find small amounts of happiness by writing my bucket list once a day. I am doing well on my soul journey. But I don’t know how to criticize the world. Maybe that’s why I keep getting moodlets that make me feel embarrassed about my unfulfilled goals. I feel stressed because no matter how much ghost mastery I accumulate, I can’t move forward peacefully because it seems like it will never end.
You see, what I want more than anything is for those ducks to come back. But this is The Sims 4. This new expansion is pretty cool, but I haven’t purchased Cottage Living yet.
So there are no ducks in my swimming pool.
