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NFL Offensive Lineman Christmas Gift Rankings: QBs, do teams benefit from generosity?

Hue ManeBy No Comments0 Views
NFL Offensive Lineman Christmas Gift Rankings: QBs, do teams benefit from generosity?

Offensive linemen have one of the most thankless jobs in the NFL. Go get in his way, do a good job, and we’ll never talk about it. If you mess up, at best they will publicly embarrass you. Or we will blame you for any loss or injury.

I look forward to the holiday season because big rugs need hugs. Their wealthy quarterbacks, and sometimes running backs, reward their offensive linemen for their blood, sweat, and tears with lavish gifts for Christmas. Although it’s not always shared with the public or pesky media types, we’ve been able to put together a list of the top 10 gifts of the year, along with a few honorable mentions. (The bottom of the list is best left to one’s imagination, and we couldn’t confirm our theory that Houston Texans quarterback C.J. Stroud gave his offensive linemen a few rocks.)

Did the quarterback and team receive immediate payouts from the offensive linemen for their generosity? Let’s take a look at the top gifts along with how those teams performed in Week 17.

1. Cincinnati Bengals

Week 17 Results: Beat Denver Broncos 30-24

Joe Burrow asked his linemen what they wanted, and when some said guns, it got him thinking about the coolest weapon, and a samurai sword was the obvious answer.

“I think the samurai sword is really cool,” he told reporters.

He purchased authentic Japanese katana swords, each with a unique backstory to a village or battle, and lined them up in the room for linemen to choose from.

“Joe did a great job purchasing a very meaningful gift,” left tackle Orlando Brown Jr. told reporters. “The fact that he bought me a sword is the oldest form of respect.”

“It’s my favorite gift I’ve ever received because it’s so different,” added guard Alex Cappa.

Burrow was sacked seven times in the Bengals’ overtime win over the Broncos on Saturday, so there will be fewer mimicry sword fights this week.

2. Green Bay Packers

Week 17 Results: 27-25 loss to Minnesota Vikings.

Running back Josh Jacobs wrapped custom diamond pendants for each of his 12 offensive linemen. This piece was commissioned by Houston-based custom jewelry manufacturer ZoFrost and Co.

Jacobs is having a tremendous season, but he was held to just 69 yards and a 17-yard touchdown in the loss to the Vikings. It probably took some time for the linemen to stop squinting at all the bling, as the Packers scored the final 15 points to close the game.

3. Philadelphia Eagles

Week 17 Results: Beat the Dallas Cowboys 41-17.

Running back Saquon Barkley, who is competing for the NFL rushing record, was smart and had gifts for the linemen along with quarterback Jalen Hurts. They purchased each player a personalized golf cart engraved with the player’s first and last name. And of course there are Hurts and Barkley’s logos on the back. After all, what’s the point of a gift if you don’t constantly remind yourself who got it for you?

4. San Francisco 49ers

Week 17 Results: 40-34 loss to Detroit Lions.

Brock Purdy was smart too. Since he wasn’t yet receiving a big salary, he turned to corporate sponsorships. Thanks to his friends at Toyota, Purdy gifted 10 linemen a Toyota Sequoia or Toyota Tundra. These are the most expensive gifts on the list, but since Purdy was more of a middleman, they can’t be ranked too high.

5. New York Jets

Week 17 Results: Lost to Buffalo Bills 40-14.

You can’t dress a pig, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t like a good cleanup every now and then. After a disastrous season, Jets quarterback Aaron Rodgers sought to improve Jets facilities. He brought in a tailor to measure linemen for custom Tom Ford suits, which they could wear along with new Tom Ford sunglasses and Tom Ford perfume. I also received a Louis Vuitton passport wallet.

And if that was too much for them, Rodgers threw in a stereo speaker and a bottle of Devils River bourbon.

As for the game, Rodgers was benched in the fourth quarter with the Jets down 40-0. There is no truth to the rumor that at that point one of the linesmen shouted “Who is Tom Ford?!”

6. Detroit Lions

Week 17 Results: Beat the San Francisco 49ers 40-34.

In the end, the offensive lineman is simply a liability. bijouterie? truck? no. Lions quarterback Jared Goff knew his audience well.

He told reporters: “It’s difficult to give away Toyota trucks for people to keep up with it. But I gave them a nice Yeti package that included tons of wagyu, including steak and beef. I hope they like it.’”

I did. The only downside is that the gift disappears in 4 days.

7. Pittsburgh Steelers

Week 17 Results: 29-10 loss to the Kansas City Chiefs.

This should be higher on the list. We’re just against vouchers. Even if it’s $10,000 for Airbnb, which you can use globally. Steelers’ Russell Wilson also gifted 14 offensive linemen black and yellow Louis Vuitton duffel bags, custom black and yellow Good Man Brand shoes and bottles of Ten To One rum from his wife Ciara.

The Steelers had lost three in a row, so obviously holiday-themed gifts were a bad idea.

8. Kansas City Chiefs

Week 17 Results: Beat the Pittsburgh Steelers 29-10.

This should be higher on the list too. But we’re tired of the Chiefs winning everything. And Taylor Swift’s. The Chiefs’ Patrick Mahomes gave his security guards a red Yeti cooler filled with Rolex watches, Oakley sunglasses, Lucchese boots and Normatec recovery boots. This comes after offering golf carts last year and custom golf bags with clubs the year before.

9. Commander Washington

Week 17 Results: Beat the Atlanta Falcons 30-24.

Jayden Daniels is unpredictable on the field as he can throw or run over a defender’s head. But when it comes to purchasing futures, the Commanders QB keeps it simple. He told reporters he packed electric scooters for offensive linemen “so they don’t have to move around as much.”

10. Los Angeles Chargers

Week 17 Results: Beat the New England Patriots 40-7.

Justin Herbert received two gift cards from his staff – one for Delta Air Lines (along with his luggage) and one for Wagyu beef from Snake River Farms – to take the hassle out of his vacation plans.

The Patriots didn’t show up on Sunday, so what Herbert got his guys through didn’t really matter to this study.

honorable mention

Buffalo Bills

Week 17 Results: Beat the New York Jets 40-14.

In the past, Bills QB Josh Allen has gifted linemen with customized scooters, golf clubs and lessons. But his Bills linemen reversed the trend. Because every time they make a mistake, Allen runs next to a defensive lineman or trucks a defensive back.

Last year they gave him an ATV. This season, they decided to let him know what they thought about the pending MVP voting. The linemen gave him Allen’s No. 10 with “MVP” on the nameplate. 17 I gave her a custom diamond necklace made from jersey. The back lists the names of the linemen. Tackle Dion Dawkins posted the gift on Instagram with the caption, “Merry Christmas to our MVP.”

new york giants

Beat the Indianapolis Colts 45-33

Daniel Jones is living the good life as a practice squad player for the Vikings. But he didn’t forget his former teammates, didn’t hold a grudge for all the beatings they gave him earlier this season, and sent gifts to his old Giants linemen. He gifted them a bottle of limited edition Clase Azul tequila. Prices for bottles range from $120 to $19,000.

Let’s hope the linemen don’t Google their respective illnesses.

Overall record: 8 wins, 4 losses

Moral of the story: Big men love gifts.

(Top picture: Will Tullos / work out; Photo by Jalen Hurts, Joe Burrow, and Jared Goff: Emilee Chinn, Dylan Buell, and Todd Rosenberg / Getty Images)

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