Remember the Epsilon Program? It’s basically a parody of Scientology and other religions from the GTA series, with some pretty outrageous beliefs. At least to cynics like you and me, it can often sound like a cult or pyramid scheme. Well, during the development of GTA 5, former Rockstar developer and everyone’s favorite in-game radio host Lazlow Jones actually got a call from people who actually believed in Kifflom’s methods.
The interview comes from an interview Jones did with IGN, and mostly features Jones talking about what he’s currently doing at Absurd Ventures, the studio he co-founded with Dan Houser after leaving the studio to work on GTA 6.
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Jones says that while he was still at Rockstar and working on GTA 5, he received a call from a woman claiming to represent a group of followers of the real Epsilon Program. She said she wanted to “know more” about the apparently fake religion that was initially developed for GTA San Andreas.
“She was essentially saying that they were followers of a fake religion that we had created,” the developer said, and immediately told his colleague Dan Houser about the voicemail the group had left.
“She sounded like a real follower of the Epsilon Program,” Jones continued. “It’s crazy to satirize something… because we’re very direct about it. We had a website for the Epsilon Program in 2004, and if you look at all the copy on it, it’s very clear to me that it’s a modern-day fictional religion out to make money. But they sounded like they were really following it.” That excited and scared me at the same time.
How would Jones feel if he found out that real people could follow the teachings of the bright blue-clad sister-brother gang led by Chris Formage? They famously greet each other with “Kiplom!” Michael De Santa could befriend them while committing robberies and committing more hit-and-run murders a day than the average Range Rover driver. “It was exciting and scary at the same time,” he told IGN.
To be fair, given how weird the world is in 2024, is it really that weird to imagine a group of people gathering around a video game cult that believes sperm don’t exist and that if you have a birthmark, you’re likely a descendant of Kraff, the famous Emperor of the Fourth Paradigm?
Do you think you could be the spermless descendant of an alien emperor? Let us know below! Or, if you think about it again, keep it to yourself.
