When I became pregnant with my first child last spring, I decided to create a parental leave plan that best suited my family and allowed me to provide leadership on issues I was passionate about.
My situation was a little unique. While I was identifying as a woman and a mother, my wife was pregnant with our child. I sort of fell into both the traditional categories of maternity and paternity leave. This helped me understand Cisco’s parental leave policy, and I was very surprised to learn that it wasn’t about gender. Typically in the United States, Cisco provided 13 weeks of paid leave for primary caregivers and 4 weeks of paid leave for secondary caregivers. It is up to the employee to identify themselves as a primary or secondary caregiver.
In our home, my wife and I both work full-time and we both consider ourselves mothers. Ultimately, I decided I was the primary caregiver and took advantage of all 13 weeks of paid leave from Cisco, even though I wasn’t pregnant or having a baby. This was a difficult decision for me to make as I had many non-baby colleagues across my team and business who were identified as secondary carers and only took four weeks off. Since I had never carried or breastfed a baby, I felt obligated to do the same. The obvious driver of my decision was to maximize time at home with my newborn and postpartum partner, but I was also conscious of breaking the stigma that non-birth parents should only take four weeks off as secondary caregivers.
There were many people at Cisco before me who worked hard to advocate for the benefits available to employees today. I wouldn’t respect their work if I didn’t make the most of the benefits available to me. And we knew that if we didn’t start leading by example, it would be uncomfortable for others to do the same.
If you want social norms to change, you have to start by acting differently. I hope that my decision to identify as a primary caregiver and use all 13 weeks of paid leave will inspire other non-birth mothers, fathers, and parents to make the same decision if it is best for their family.
It’s important to acknowledge that the amazing culture within Cisco and my immediate team has made me feel safe and supported when making decisions. It was scary to step away from my role for a quarter of a year and force the team to live without my day-to-day influence. There were moments when I worried that my value and contribution to the business would be minimized if the team figured out how to carry out my responsibilities. I felt guilty about my teammates and leaders taking on my work. I was worried that I would miss out on growth opportunities or be excluded from consideration for expansion projects. Of course, I was afraid that others would judge me for receiving all of the primary caregiver benefits while my partner was pregnant and giving birth.
Building a culture of open dialogue around work-life balance was the first step in changing this mindset. After five years at Cisco and participating in numerous Women of Cisco roundtables where several topics were discussed, including how to balance career and family, I have already done the personal work of changing my mindset on this issue. Instead of asking, “What will people think if I take 13 weeks off as a non-mother?” I asked myself, “What example will I be setting for future parents if I don’t take full advantage of Cisco’s parental leave benefits?” This made my decision a no-brainer.
The best part of my story is what happened after maternity leave.
Although sleep-deprived, I somehow returned to Cisco more energized than ever. After closing my laptop for over a year and a half, my fatigue completely disappeared. Morale at work was high and I had a positive attitude. As a new mom, I was eager to connect with my colleagues and customers in new ways. Productivity improved as I was motivated to make every moment count at work to preserve precious time in the early mornings and late afternoons with my family. I haven’t harbored any anger at work because I’ve had a few great months with my baby and my partner. I can confidently say that my work and impact have changed for the better because I decided to make the most of my time with my family when my son was born.
If we don’t recognize that maintaining a positive work-life balance requires discipline and planning each day, we’ll be minimizing the enormous amount of work that all parents do for their children and partners every day. Being a parent and doing your best will never be easy. But by using the full amount of paid time off provided by Cisco, I am able to reflect on this, adjust to new life changes, and make plans.
My advice to expectant parents who work full-time and qualify for parental leave benefits is to consider what message their decision to take parental leave will send to the community. If you’re not taking full advantage of your benefits, think about why.
It was an honor to work at Cisco, which has a strong people-first culture. That’s why I’m committed to expressing my values and inspiring others through the decisions I make every day, and I’m deeply grateful to the many people at Cisco who continue to inspire me.
We all have different backgrounds and perspectives, and Cisco provides comprehensive, adaptable benefits that evolve to support us, like the enhancement of paid Child Bonding Leave, which takes effect in the U.S. in 2025. For health and wellness innovations, check out our recently released Purpose Report.
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