Most of the many things worth hating about college football have at least an implicit connection to the most hated people in sports: television executives.
They fix games that are detrimental to the team. We don’t fix the game that needs to be fixed to help the team. They find a way to keep the game going for four hours. They don’t allow employees to say “2 minute warning” even though we all know it’s a 2 minute warning. They’re giving us an 18-team league with teams 18 hours apart, and Nick Saban’s acting is very rigid. When they’re not breathlessly debating the 36 teams that will make up NFL Campus North and NFL Campus South, they say “harrumph” a lot under their breath.
According to previous reports, they ‘Athletic’s Grant Brisbee, “chuzzlewits and pecksniffs”. By the way, add the World Series Hater’s Guide to your list of destinations for this Hater’s Guide. Because it was a lot more fun. But this one has a curveball in its repertoire. That means a little love for TV executives. Before we get into the 12 teams in the College Football Playoff and why each is worthy of deep anger and contempt, let’s celebrate the teams that aren’t here.
Thank you, media rights lords, for not forcing Alabama into our living rooms when the Crimson Tide didn’t deserve it, even though many were convinced otherwise. We all know that placing an order in person will get you into the selection committee deliberation room, and we imagine it will be delivered to an epic level via a giant hologram that gives off a scary “Wizard of Oz” vibe, except for Lou Holtz’s face. You acted this time, maybe because oil people are scarier than TV people, but whatever. thank you
Moreover, thank you for making the established SEC managers/coaches/PRs — no, the media — cry so loudly. Oh, and you’re going to stop scheduling competitive non-league games? If you go to Mercer-McNeese State-Maine-Murray State and go on to play in eight SEC games, is that how they’ll treat you? Here we reintroduce you to the people who run the sport.
Greg Sankey tweets about the strength of the schedule and may have a humorous and somewhat tender anecdote about all the coaches he introduces at SEC media days. But check out his tie collection and understand that he will always be on team “harumph’s” side. good luck.
And good luck, Alabama, the spoon hits my cereal bowl and makes an annoying clicking noise. Discover games with more meaning.
Tennessee, Ohio State Winner Gets Oregon State: Ducks, Bucks and Pilot Flying J welcomes trucks.
Apparently there will be more Vols fans at Ohio Stadium on Saturday than there were in Knoxville on November 26, 2017 because Ohio State fans are spoiled brats who would rather fire their 66-10 coach and jail Connor Stalions than win a national championship. . That was the day many people came together and falsely accused Ohio State’s defensive coordinator of committing a heinous crime because he didn’t want to be a football coach.
Schiano shaming has joined the mattress-burning, butt-chugging and mustard bottle-throwing that have expressed Tennessee’s embarrassment over the past two decades, but things are a lot better now thanks to Josh Heupel and his football team. These guys are happy to be in the playoffs. The Vols are usually fighting for something like, how much more would you trust Raiders owner Mark Davis’ haircut if it wasn’t a bowl? and they’re acting like it.
In an elite “X” showdown of fans posting horrible things that no one should say to anyone else, Vols fans apparently tricked Buckeyes fans into selling them tickets. I’d like to say I’m surprised, but Ohio State fans seem to think Knoxville is a tropical paradise in the winter, and high 20-degree temperatures will make the Vols turtle like they do every time the Buckeyes see their winged helmets.
Vols: Ohio has elected officials who actually constitute crimes and felonies. If you win, quietly walk to the locker room with your eyes downcast. Touch the flag and you’ll get a harsher punishment than the Buckeyes Boosters screaming at Ryan Day when he leads his team out on the field on Saturday.
Ohio lawmaker proposes bill that would make displaying the flag a felony | Click the image to read the full story https://t.co/7PJLYaf2Xu
— WJCL News (@WJCLNews) December 12, 2024
The team I hate the most to advance to the semifinals Ohio State. Oregon and its fans really can’t hold on. Are there too many strange uniform combinations? Is Dan Lanning having too much caffeine in his bloodstream? confident. Phil Knight and Nike’s ugly history? Yes, and Tennessee has the “big” Jim Haslam and Pilot Company. But did you see the autographs and tailgating props from Browns fans, most of whom were Buckeyes fans, when Jimmy Haslam and Deshaun Watson signed the worst contract in sports history to begin their tenures? Those guys deserve at least another ten years of sporting misery.
Indiana Notre Dame Wins Winner Georgia: Jimmy Cheatwood and Rudy’s Slap Battle
Does anyone wear a visor and not look stupid? Since we’ll never know your name for the rest of your life, let’s take an online poll and write down a candidate. The coolest-looking person in human history to wear a visor is ______.
On an unrelated note, tell me two things about Georgia coach Kirby Smart. He won many football games and convinced his players that he thought no one could win a football game.
His next task will be finding a way to make these Bulldogs underdogs against the winner of a football championship in a state known for basketball.
But what tradition is there? Indiana men’s basketball has made the Final Four once in each of the last 32 years, the last time coming in 1987, a few months after the “Hoosiers” introduced Jimmy Chitwood to movie audiences.
Heck, the last time IU basketball was as clean as the final 12 was in 2002. At the time, Notre Dame coach Marcus Freeman was a 16-year-old star linebacker who was heavily scouted by Notre Dame and realized he liked it better. A program that sells recent championships (Ohio State) through newsreels from the 1920s.
But coaching Notre Dame football? That’s a good deal. Witness the extension of Freeman’s contract after a loss to Northern Illinois following a loss to Northern Illinois in a much-anticipated win against a not-so-bad team. If he can beat Fighting Curt Cignettis he will be widely welcomed. Notre Dame’s last production was in 1988, a few years before ‘Rudy’ was released. It keeps going back to the late 1980s, which is fitting because much of the state seems to wish we still lived in the late 1980s.
The team I hate the most to advance to the semifinals Georgia. sorry. Sankey is like Darth Vader. But Notre Dame is right there. At least 99.99% of non-affiliated fans would choose Indiana. It’s almost like an Indiana Jones sequel where Indy retrieves Knute Rockne’s 1924 practice whistle and trades his leather fedora for a visor.
SMU at Penn State, winner gets Boise State: Blue field, gold Trans Am, white out
One of the biggest things they’re keeping an eye on in this 12-team playoff is the logistics surrounding the four programs hosting the games. Is everything going smoothly? What is the hotel situation? Who should the ball officials compensate to prevent this from happening again?
It’s especially difficult at Penn State. Not only because the nearest hotel room with a color TV is 70 kilometers away in Altoona. Penn State representatives are trying hard to trick James Franklin and his team into thinking this is actually a pre-conference game against an FCS opponent. Even a local bookstore sign that says “Beat Southwest Montana University.”
This means there will be an extensive heater maze in the stands, so fans can take part in a traditional “white out” in shorts and t-shirts. No expense is spared, because we all know how James Franklin and his team react to the words “big game.” If you go to a big game against Ryan Day and lose that game, you could be in trouble in the big game.
a week#we are X #CFBPlayoffs pic.twitter.com/TX7bkCpoHC
— Penn State Football (@PennStateFball) December 14, 2024
Now, Penn State fans sometimes take Franklin’s criticism too far. I saw one person post after the Ohio State loss that Franklin was “literally taking a huge leap forward for this program,” and I had so many questions. to the letter? How big is the torch? Is it closer to a flamethrower? Outside of the soccer field, the weight room, and even the soccer field itself? We need more information, including how the media covered this up.
Meanwhile, Franklin is incredibly elusive in the media, pretending to wear a Harry Potter invisibility cloak and ducking out when asked difficult questions. Big game, schmig schmames. When the pressure is high and you need a coach who doesn’t say anything, put your money on Franklin.
The team I hate the most to advance to the semifinals Penn State. It’s barely worth mentioning. Of course, Boise State has a blue field, which is the kind of field you’d expect from a team with the best postseason record in Need A Sharper Knife To Scrape The Resin Out Of This Bowl. But there’s also Ashton Jeanty. Some of the SMU people are terrible, but let’s give them some grace. They’ve been missing out on a football program for years.
Speaking of no escape from the late 1980s, the Mustang needs new joke fodder to actually get any better now. Eric Dickerson’s gold Trans Am and execution jumped the shark. Figuratively.
Clemson of Texas Gets Arizona State as Winner: Oh God, Sun Devil
Has Clemson coach Dabo Swinney already revealed the College Football Playoff results? Gamblers, take note. Here’s what he told ABC’s Molly McGrath after the three-loss Tigers beat SMU to win the ACC title and automatic bid: “We all thought the door was closed. But this was God’s plan for us. That’s all I can say. God just opened the door and they fought their butts off.”
You see, in the same situation, another person with the same faith might have held on to their personal faith and how much strength it gave them, and even how important God was to that particular individual on the team. A person in that situation might have thought that not everyone who cheers for Clemson has the same religious beliefs, and that other teams probably have many who do, which would make it difficult for God to choose one side or the other. . At a soccer game. Some people with deeply religious beliefs may have problems with the idea that God would care about the outcome of a soccer game.
But Dabo is not like that! No, sreju! Certainly, Clemson’s fire zone blitz is so good it’s divine. This is especially true when deployed against pagan enemies. Armed with the goodwill from above, as well as probably the Clemson bulletin board, it’s written that Dabo is set to forgive the transfer portal and earn a salary of more than $12 million in bonuses for his crisp results.
The team I hate the most to advance to the semifinals is Clemson. You made Texas a sentimental choice in this piece and a place that didn’t deserve to be insulted, Dabo. Because of shame. The winner plays Arizona State, which is a great story, but could also be the best team on an underrated date that doesn’t require spending or talking much.
(Dabo Swinney Photo: Bob Donnan / Imagn Images)
