There is no room for intruders in Wallabies

It would be easy to panic right now at Joe Schmidt and his mysterious gang of evil “assistant” agents.

After all, the Wallabies have played three Tests against Wales and Georgia, and judging by the online reaction, they have lost them all humiliatingly. They now have just three weeks to prepare for a South African team made up entirely of genetically engineered monsters, like the Planet Express basketball team in the episode “Time Keeps On Slipping”, and if you don’t get that reference, then I doubt you are a real rugby fan.

Classic animation aside, the point is that Australian rugby is in dire straits, as it has been for the last 300 years, and it’s only natural that a drowning man would reach for a lifejacket. In this case, the lifejackets would be a number of Australian players playing overseas, such as Will Skelton, Marika Koroibete and Samu Kerevi. And probably others.

The logic is simple and compelling. These players are good enough that foreign clubs are willing to pay big money to sign them, but players signed by Super Rugby franchises are clearly not. If you want the best possible Wallabies team, you obviously have to select the best possible players, so the foreign contingent has to be called up.

Will Skelton holds the Australian crest during the Wallabies’ win over Georgia at the Stade de France in Paris on September 9, 2023. (Photo: Chris Hyde/Getty Images)

Now, I’m not going to be restrained. I’m not going to engage in emotional personal criticism. Others might call these players turncoats, traitors, trash that doesn’t fit in with Australia, greedy bottom feeders. If they don’t go to jail, they should have their citizenship revoked. I will never do that.

But there are plenty of reasons to choose an overseas-based Wallabies, and Schmidt should think carefully about the risks before choosing the quick sugar rush of bringing back the prodigal son over the less glamorous but longer-lasting satisfaction of being sacked for poor performance mid-contract.

The first thing to consider is the character issue. After all, they have already signaled that they value financial security more than the desire to wear the gold jersey, and they will do whatever it takes to do so. In any other profession, we would not consider it morally acceptable to accept a higher-paying job. Why should it be acceptable in rugby? A rugby team is supposed to be a close-knit unit based on unwavering trust between its members. Wouldn’t it be safer to place that trust in someone who is committed enough to the cause to spend his entire career without attracting interest from foreign clubs?

The Wallabies react after losing the World Cup to Wales. (Photo: Chris Hyde/Getty Images)

The second consideration is cultural. These invaders were playing in France and Japan. These alien nations have very different ways of doing things than we do. It’s all very well to drool at the prospect of a Wallaby team bonding session with sashimi and snails, but when it comes to building the combination that holds a team together to become a successful team, how do the traditional Australian values ​​of camaraderie and masculine ego death fit with men steeped in bushido norms and open marriage?

It’s a common occurrence in rugby, but ultimately it’s almost impossible to create a reliable combination between people who have such different wavelengths. Look at the great connection Fraser McWright and Harry Wilson showed at the weekend. I wonder if they would have been as good if Wilson had learned the cancan while McWright has been focusing on the tea ceremony for the past three years?

Harry Wilson links up with Fraser McWright ahead of Rob Ballettini’s try during the Wallabies’ 40-29 win over Georgia at Allianz Stadium on July 20, 2024. (Photo by Brett Hemmings/Getty Images)

The third factor is the issue of moral hazard. It is extremely dangerous to appear to reward bad behavior, because it only encourages more wrongdoing. Choosing to serve overseas sends a signal to all Australians that it is acceptable to live overseas. That would be a terrible lesson for our children to learn.

The fourth issue to consider is the health of the domestic game. Making it easier for Wallaby players to get selected while playing for overseas clubs would remove one of the main incentives to stay at home. If Schmidt goes down that path, there is a risk that Super Rugby will become a ridiculous mockery of the professional game in a few years. The Australian team is too weak to have any chance of success. It is hard to imagine, but it is possible if we do not join forces to resist the temptation of foreign stars.

Wallabies coach Joe Schmidt at Rugby Australia headquarters. (Photo: Mark Metcalfe/Getty Images)

And finally, there is simply patriotism. To be a Wallaby is to love Australia. To cheer for the Wallabies is to love Australia. To be honest, leaving Australia is not to love Australia. Can you claim to be committed to restoring Australia to the ruthless monarchy of all other rugby nations? Not even committed to staying in the joint?

Anyone who loves Australia would never play for a foreign club, and anyone who doesn’t love Australia should never have the honour of being humiliated to the point of bloodshed by a huge Afrikaans crowd.

And if Joe Schmidt doesn’t get that, I don’t know how he can call himself Australian.