More back stabs, evil boardroom sagas, evil emperor Waugh

There are two things that capture the hearts of rugby fans across the region every week. The first is the question of how exactly to revive the popularity of the sport of rugby union in this great country with a sporadically proud rugby history.

Second, will we ever see an end to the dreadful off-field infighting, backstabbing and blame-shifting that has plagued Australian rugby and made it nearly impossible to turn the spotlight on on-field action?

There is no doubt that these two problems are connected, and many people believe that the way to improve the first point is to try to eliminate the second. The question is whether this is possible. With the dire financial situation of the game in this country, general confusion and fear about the future of the game, and by all accounts everyone in power in Australian rugby huddled in a back room and hatching a plan to find the next great idea to kick the sport in the crotch. It looks really exciting to build. Ending the obsessive focus on off-field issues will be a Herculean effort.

(Photo by James Worsfold/Getty Images)

Given that, I think it’s time to take a new approach, think outside the box, push the envelope, and apply a few different phrases you read about in Marketing For Dummies. I believe that rugby union can actually regain its popularity in Australia. But that will require some innovation.

My plan was inspired by a television show. successionis one of the most popular shows in recent years, as measured by the only popularity indicator that matters in the 2020s (Guardian Thinkpieces).

Now people are loved succession. They took great pleasure in the wacky adventures of the feisty Roy family and their eternal quest to destroy each other’s lives. And the thing about succession This means that in all four seasons there was barely a single scene of rugby union, or indeed any other code of football. In fact, the show shone a shocking light on story arcs involving athletic activities in general. Nonetheless, people loved it. Why is this like this? I will tell you.

In fact, people really enjoy watching other people plot and scheme against each other and wrestle for status, wealth, and power. They like it a lot more than watching people bump into each other and throw balls. Look how successful it is survivor Do you think the reality franchise would have lasted this long if every episode was just a physical challenge? Wouldn’t anyone care? survivor What if the winner of each series was the person who excelled at the sport? Of course not. People love. survivor Because victory goes to the player who best controls others. As in successionOnly available in less expensive wardrobes.

There is a lesson here for Australian rugby and all regional franchises. Indeed, this is a lesson that rugby organizations around the world should heed. If you really want to capture the public’s imagination, don’t give them a stupid sport. Denote; Give them a vicious, vicious boardroom fight for control of the company.

Let’s face it, rugby has been trying to compete based on on-field action for decades and it’s losing. Soccer rules the world. In Australia, the NRL and AFL rule. Now we could argue all day about why this is the case. Maybe it’s because the other codes are simpler and easier to follow, maybe because the competition is better structured, or maybe because none of them emphasize the beauty and entertainment value of long stretches of time. A play where the ball is not visible. It’s impossible to know for sure.

The point is, it’s time for rugby to stop trying to compete with other sports as a sport and start competing with compelling, bad stories of administrative malfeasance. In reality, it’s just a matter of playing to your strengths, and over the past few years it’s become pretty clear that what rugby is really good at is men in suits doing their jobs poorly and sniping at each other in the media.

So what I’m suggesting is that we rely on this. Let’s have more debate between clubs and state bodies. More angry seniors are writing open letters demanding board leaks. The more heated debates about the right direction for the game ultimately lead nowhere. A more strategic review. More looting. Disillusioned coaches stumbled out the door with swords sprouting from their backs like mushrooms.

(Photo credit: Asanka Ratnayake/Getty Images)

Take a look at the promotion opportunities the Melbourne Rebels have offered us. Think of the potential audience if you replaced the shabby broadcast of a Rebels game with thrilling coverage of the franchise’s struggles to maintain its existence. Millions will watch as one brave rugby team fights to see if the rebels can survive another week and avoid annihilation at the hands of the evil Emperor Waugh.

Now of course we will continue the game. Sports are needed to give credibility to administrative shows. But going forward, it’s important to downplay the actual sport and try to keep the public from seeing it as much as possible. What we don’t want is for new fans, lured by the exciting cut and thrust of Australian rugby’s elite coaches, to become disillusioned with what rugby actually looks like, especially when played by Australians.

It’s almost a no-brainer. If successful succession If you’re not convinced, take a look at some of the other great entertainment franchises in the world. Lord of the Rings. star Wars. The Game Of Thrones. MacLeod’s Daughters. They are all about two things. The one who ends up ruling everything and the one who gets killed along the way.

And indeed, this is exactly what rugby union has been pushing for for many years already. All we have to do is monetize it. Let people talk about who will be the next CEO and who will be the next victim of the backroom asshole.

Let’s make rugby great again by focusing on where it belongs – the corporate box.